Home

I’m back! Over the last two weeks I took a hiatus from posting on Boss & Tonic because I was enjoying being back at home in Laguna Beach, CA.

Google’s definition of ‘home’ is:

n. a place where something flourishes ie. Piedmont is the home of Italy’s finest red wines.

Which leads me to believe that Google is stalking me, but I digress.

Home is a universal concept, but the word evokes different emotions for everyone. For me home has been feeling grateful, inadequate, loved, betrayed, serene, and every sensation in between. Sometimes all at once.

When people used to ask me, “where’s home?” I would reply Laguna Beach. Now I’m not so sure what the answer to that question is. As I’m growing up, and getting out on my own I'm realizing that I’m no longer as defined by where I grew up. Since I left for college half a decade ago, I’ve experienced a lot outside of the confines of said home.

During college my suitcase was my closet. In other words, I moved around a lot. Between transferring after my freshmen year, to internships in NYC, to studying abroad, I was a busy girl.

This is what my path looked like: Laguna Beach, CA - Boulder, CO - Laguna Beach, CA - Boston, MA - New York, NY - Boston, MA - New York, NY - Laguna Beach, CA - Queensland, AUS - Boston, MA.

I’m exhausted after typing that.

Having recently graduated from college I feel the pressure to move again. It seems that everyone moves after college either back home, to a new city for a job, or even abroad to teach English to small Asian children. I don’t want to leave Boston just yet. I feel like I finally have time to breathe, get comfortable, and establish my roots. However, a part of me is averse to this comfort. It's hard to grow if your environment stays the same.

I often find myself growing homesick for a place that I'm not sure even exists. Then I realize that all of my homes, connections, memories, and experiences, have something in common: me. Home isn’t inherent in any of it, I am. I don’t have to seek anything outside myself for fulfillment. This haven is something I never have to leave and that is a truth worth discovering.

What does home mean to you?